Consumer Warning

People who have never attempted to cut an onion have no appreciation for the pain and torture it causes the person cutting it. I have tried every trick in the book to stop from crying when cutting an onion, but nothing seems to work. Even worse, my eyes actually swell shut if I am even in the same room as an onion being chopped. This does not help, since I am a huge cook and like onions. I have to have someone else cut an onion, and come back in the room to finish my cooking. Embarrassing, I know. 

So, I thought I would put a warning label on the onions today at Target. People deserve to know that the flavor of onions is NOT worth the pain. At all.

Here is my label:

I realized when I got home that you can't read the label very well. 

It reads, "Warning!! This product is not worth your tears. May cause you to cry uncontrollably or make your eyes swell shut."

Defying Superstition

While I was at work this week, my manager let me know that she her cat recently had kittens and her mom was bringing one in today before they gave it away. Awesome, I don't really like cats but I didn't mind too much. Until I saw that it was black. But, then I started thinking that I may be making my own superstition up in my head. Do black cats actually cause bad luck? Well, I sat with the black cat for about an hour, and this is how the next 48 hours went:

The day after:
     Nothing too out of the ordinary happened, except that we were supposed to have very bad storms but all we got was rain. Also, class was cancelled...so I guess that was good luck?

2 days after:
   I woke up with a headache. Not a terrible start to my day, but who likes waking up with headaches? I'll answer that: no one. I was going to go to Target to do some unnecessary impulse grocery shopping, when I saw a wasp flying around my car. I didn't think too much of it, until I stood there like an idiot making multiple attempts at quickly opening my door and getting in. Well, the attempts failed and I was left looking like a loser running and dodging the air around my car.
   Then, I saw about 5 more wasps come out of my drivers side mirror. COOL. So I gave up and went inside, guessing that God didn't want me to spend money on sale items at Target. But later, when I tried to leave again, I realized that the lovely wasps made a next inside my drivers side mirror and I would have to fight a swarm to open my door. So, I manned up, got wasp spray and killed them all.


So, even though the first day was great, it's those last 48 hours that get you. I cannot say that the wasps were a direct correlation to me holding the black cat, but I cannot say they were not either. I mean...they are technically both animals, right? Maybe that was my payback for not wanting to be around the cat.

I learned my lesson, next time I see a black cat, I will RUN far far away from it and hope no wasps are chasing me along the way.

The Eleventh Commandment

Even though God he tells us the 10 Commandments, there is one commandment that I believe should be added to the list and complete the set.

The last commandment should be: Thou shalt honor and respect others as if they were their own blood.

Basically, this means that you should respect people as if they were your own family. People are so mean to others sometimes and don't understand that people should be nice to everyone and should treat those as they would like to be treated, like family. I chose a tablet, but instead of the stone, I decided to do a dark marble. If you etch in marble, it is permanent and looks better than stone, in my opinion.