Consumer Warning

People who have never attempted to cut an onion have no appreciation for the pain and torture it causes the person cutting it. I have tried every trick in the book to stop from crying when cutting an onion, but nothing seems to work. Even worse, my eyes actually swell shut if I am even in the same room as an onion being chopped. This does not help, since I am a huge cook and like onions. I have to have someone else cut an onion, and come back in the room to finish my cooking. Embarrassing, I know. 

So, I thought I would put a warning label on the onions today at Target. People deserve to know that the flavor of onions is NOT worth the pain. At all.

Here is my label:

I realized when I got home that you can't read the label very well. 

It reads, "Warning!! This product is not worth your tears. May cause you to cry uncontrollably or make your eyes swell shut."

Defying Superstition

While I was at work this week, my manager let me know that she her cat recently had kittens and her mom was bringing one in today before they gave it away. Awesome, I don't really like cats but I didn't mind too much. Until I saw that it was black. But, then I started thinking that I may be making my own superstition up in my head. Do black cats actually cause bad luck? Well, I sat with the black cat for about an hour, and this is how the next 48 hours went:

The day after:
     Nothing too out of the ordinary happened, except that we were supposed to have very bad storms but all we got was rain. Also, class was cancelled...so I guess that was good luck?

2 days after:
   I woke up with a headache. Not a terrible start to my day, but who likes waking up with headaches? I'll answer that: no one. I was going to go to Target to do some unnecessary impulse grocery shopping, when I saw a wasp flying around my car. I didn't think too much of it, until I stood there like an idiot making multiple attempts at quickly opening my door and getting in. Well, the attempts failed and I was left looking like a loser running and dodging the air around my car.
   Then, I saw about 5 more wasps come out of my drivers side mirror. COOL. So I gave up and went inside, guessing that God didn't want me to spend money on sale items at Target. But later, when I tried to leave again, I realized that the lovely wasps made a next inside my drivers side mirror and I would have to fight a swarm to open my door. So, I manned up, got wasp spray and killed them all.


So, even though the first day was great, it's those last 48 hours that get you. I cannot say that the wasps were a direct correlation to me holding the black cat, but I cannot say they were not either. I mean...they are technically both animals, right? Maybe that was my payback for not wanting to be around the cat.

I learned my lesson, next time I see a black cat, I will RUN far far away from it and hope no wasps are chasing me along the way.

The Eleventh Commandment

Even though God he tells us the 10 Commandments, there is one commandment that I believe should be added to the list and complete the set.

The last commandment should be: Thou shalt honor and respect others as if they were their own blood.

Basically, this means that you should respect people as if they were your own family. People are so mean to others sometimes and don't understand that people should be nice to everyone and should treat those as they would like to be treated, like family. I chose a tablet, but instead of the stone, I decided to do a dark marble. If you etch in marble, it is permanent and looks better than stone, in my opinion.

The Dysfunctional Umbrella

Since it rains pretty much every other day here in Tuscaloosa, it is very important to invest in an umbrella. Yet sometimes, even umbrellas don't do their job! So yesterday, when yet another monsoon made its way through Tuscaloosa, I walked to class with my umbrella, only to get to class with half of my body soaked because it wasn't big enough to cover me! I decided that I wanted to redesign the umbrella, because I am tired of half of my body being dry, and the other half soaked because my shoulders are too dang wide apparently. Water dripping from an umbrella down your arm is just not fun.

So, here is a picture of the lovely normal umbrella that we all have come to know very well.

Now, here is my new and improved version of an umbrella. (I do apologize, drawing an umbrella seems to be a much harder task than I originally thought.)

As you can see, the umbrella "stem" as I call it, is on one side, and most of the top cover is on the other, therefore your entire body is actually covered by the umbrella. What a concept that my whole body can actually stay dry!!! Basically, this is just a lopsided umbrella. This, obviously, is an umbrella designed for only one person, but honestly, I hate being under an umbrella with other people anyways!! All manufacturers would have to do is move the stem over and lop-side a regular umbrella a little bit and voila! there is a perfect umbrella designed to keep you (and your arm) dry!

Can't wait for people to start making these! I still don't understand how I am the first to think of this easy concept...

SkyFall

SKYFALL (2012) – Genre: Film

FOUR HORIZONTAL INTERTEXTUAL CONNECTIONS:

The Dark Knight (2008) – Genre: Film

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0468569/

Both of the movies closely resemble each other in many ways. Both Batman and James Bond are orphans, who are great at fighting crime, and are the “good guys.” The villains resemble each other because they are scary, rude men that are a just little twisted (and slightly odd looking...). They also both show the main character's family graves in the movie.

Looper (2012) – Genre: Film

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1276104/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

The mansion that Bond escapes to in Skyfall is reminiscent of the house in Looper because they are both in the middle of nowhere because they don’t want anyone finding them. Also, they both have to do with running away from something.

The Italian Job (2003) – Genre: Film

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317740/?ref_=sr_1

Charlie Croker was believed to be dead after his car was shot off a bridge, kind of like Bond when he fell off the top of the train into the valley. Both disappeared for a long time, leading everyone to believe they had passed away, only to come back being very much alive and defeating whatever they needed to defeat. The obsession with cars in Skyfall also immediately made me think of The Italian Job.

The Bourne Legacy (2012) – Genre: Film

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1194173/?ref_=sr_1

James Bond’s back story is finally revealed in Skyfall which reminds me of Jason Bourne trying to figure out his past in all of the Bourne series of movies. Bond "never left" even when he was dead, but that's all Bourne really wanted to do.

FOUR VERTICAL INTERTEXTUAL CONNECTIONS:

"Mad Men" (2007- ) – Genre: Television Drama

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0804503/

The beginning of Skyfall heavily alludes to Mad Men in the sense that the entire time the opening credits are rolling, there is a man free-falling. This is like the advertising campaign that Mad Men put out where there was a man free-falling off a building.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen – Genre: Literature

James Bond’s childhood home heavily reminded me of Elizabeth Bennet’s countryside home in the novel. The old British charm of the home is what really made them similar and brought you back to the 1800’s when Jane Austen wrote the novel.

"Revolution" (2012) – Genre: Television Drama

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2070791/

Silva’s city in Skyfall is reminiscent of the society in Revolution. They are both more or less abandoned cities with only the few inhabitants living there. They are both very eerie places.

Year of the Dragon - Genre: Time

When Bond was in Shanghai, he fought a Komodo Dragon, and there were dragon images everywhere. The film was released in 2012, which also happens to be the year of the dragon.


TWO PUBLIC TERTIARY TEXTS:

Tom Charity – Film Critic, CNN

http://www.cnn.com/2012/11/09/showbiz/movies/skyfall-movie-review-charity/index.html

“It's been a long time since I enjoyed a Bond movie so much. By taking a good hard look at itself and going back to first principles, "Skyfall" pulls off something quite special. This is Bond resurrected, redeemed and reinvigorated, ready to face a new half-century.”

Manohla Dargis – Film Critic, The New York Times

http://movies.nytimes.com/2012/11/08/movies/skyfall-with-daniel-craig-as-james-bond.html?_r=1&

“As Bond sprints from peril to pleasure, Mr. Craig and the other players — including an exceptional, wittily venal Javier Bardem, a sleek Ralph Fiennes and a likable Ben Whishaw — turn out to be the most spectacular of Mr. Mendes’s special effects.”

ONE PRIVATE TERTIARY TEXT:

Ashley Hays via Twitter (@AshleyHays): “Daniel Craig is the best bond. #Skyfall.”

Paying My Respects

I went to the cemetery in front of Bryant Denny Stadium yesterday to pay my respects. I came across this really cool gravestone that was shaped like a tree stump. The interesting part was that the gravestone looked brand new, but the actual gravestone in the ground was cracked open and broken. It was such a juxtaposition of old and new. I love that even though he lived from 1899 to 1918, he was still remembered so recently by the new gravestone.

Before:

 After:

            When I am gone I want to be buried in a grave plot that will have my husband beside it and children near it also. I never really think about death too often, and I’ve got a lot of life to live, so I don’t want to plan it quite yet.

Holding Jiggy Hostage

So, if you know me, you know I love the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. So, I decided that if I were to hypothetically take something hostage, it would be Jiggy, Lisa Vanderpump's most beloved dog. She always says: "life isn't diamonds and rose, but it should be." Well, Lisa, you are loaded and you have all the diamonds and rose that anyone could want. So, therefore I am demanding that you meet me at the restaurant you own, SUR, and give me your diamonds and rose (cause lets be honest, you have some to spare), in order for you to get Jiggy back.

If difficult to read, this is what the note says: "Lisa, give me all your diamonds and rose or Jiggy will be mine. Meet me at SUR, 9 p.m."

Help Me!!!

My Personal Crayon Box

Colors depict a person's life. In my opinion, a person's favorite colors say a lot about that person. So, if my life were a bunch of crayons, these are the colors I would choose... 

Roll Tide Red

Original name, I know. Well this shows my allegiance to The University of Alabama. Roll Tide Roll. Everyone needs some red in his or her life, or wardrobe. It looks great on everyone, guaranteed.

Icy sky  

I love to ski and I love the beach. You can have a warm sky at the beach, or an icy sky when you are skiing in Colorado. If I had to choose a trip to the beach or to the ski slopes, skiing always win. I guess that’s what I get growing up in an anti-beach family.

Fields of Green

I love the country. I love farms, I love the animals, I love the open air. Growing up in Tennessee, it was amazing to drive down the road past farm after farm and not have a care in the world.

Happy Stick

This color has 2 meanings. 

Number 1: Butter. Paula Dean is amazing and I LOVE to bake. LOVE. However, I don’t love butter on bread or by itself, weird I know. However, butter in any recipe makes it that much better.

Number 2: Happiness. Yellow is a happy color and I love happy people.

Making Me Blush

If you know me at all, you know that one little semi-embarrassing comment about me or, actually, me being singled out in any circumstance, makes my face blush. Bad.

Volunteers Orange

I tried to delete this one about four times then decided to hell with it. University of Tennessee orange. There, I said it. Go Vols. Now, I am only saying this because I grew up in Tennessee and I almost went to the University of Tennessee. But, thank the good Lord above that I didn’t. And that’s all I have to say about that one.

Fresh Iris

Iris is the state flower of Tennessee. My mom loves to garden and we always have these in our garden and fresh ones in our house. An Iris reminds me of my family and my home.

Chocolate Cake

Once again, I LOVE to bake! Give me any recipe, or ask me to make you any dessert or dinner, and there is a good chance I will do it. I really would love to have a food blog and get paid to bake 24/7, but there’s a slim chance of that happening. Now, since it is the day after Valentine's Day, I must go to Target and raid all the discount chocolate and bakery items.

Love of my life

"You’re in a bar one evening. You’re alone. You’re not involved romantically with anyone. Suddenly, someone walks in and the two of you lock eyes. You know instinctively, with every fiber of your being, that this is the person you must spend the rest of your life with. This is your chance. You begin to think about how you’ll figure out a way to introduce yourself when suddenly – you realize that this person of your dreams isn’t sitting down! Instead, your soulmate just came in to ask directions from the bartender and will be leaving in seconds. In a desperate act, you quickly grab a cocktail napkin from the bar and have just enough time to write five words that will convince this person that the two of you are destined for one another..."

Not Enough Love

    Sometimes you just have those days where you want to let people know how much they mean to you. Well, today was one of those days. I texted my two best friends from high school, one of whom I am still close with, and the other, not so much.
    I sent them a simple text, saying, "Hey, thanks for just being you."
Here are their responses:

Jani is the friend who I have known my whole life, and is practically my sister. Her response was as expected, except the last sentence...

Hannah is my other best friend from high school, but we rarely speak. Obviously, she was not as appreciative as Jani, but, for the most part, she said what I expected.

Except for the fact that they both thought something was wrong!!! It could be the fact that I sent it so seriously. I am slightly ashamed to admit that I am usually the person who texts all my friends with extra letters and more emoji's than socially acceptable. 

Also, this highlights the fact that we don't tell people we love how much they mean to us enough. This was a learning experience to me because: 1) It shows that no one takes me seriously when I actually try to be serious in text. 2) We need to tell people that they mean something to us, because honestly, I don't think anyone can hear it too much.

My Last and Final Meal...

My last meal if I were on Death Row would be a big one. I would want every food that I love, and I want to be so full that I can’t move. Now, since I have never studied up on the parameters of the last meal, I assume that you can order whatever you want, and however much you want of that food. So, instead of ordering a single item in each category, I am being quite ambitious with my meal and choosing ALL my favorite foods.

 My plan of attacking this meal would be that I am going to take one bite of each thing, and just go in a circle eating one bite at a time so I make sure to at least have some of everything. The best part of this meal, you ask? CALORIES DON’T MATTER!!! That’s right. I could eat everything my little heart (literally…if I were that terrible of a person to have the death penalty) desired. This is fun to figure out, only because I am a self-proclaimed foodie. Not in the “I like exotic foods and trying every food imaginable” way, but the “hey…I love food and could be happy eating it all day long” kind of way. 

So here it goes:

Beverages

            Large Chick-fil-a Sweet Tea

                        Calories: 220

            Chocolate Milkshake from The Varsity (and yes…this is a beverage to me)

                        Calories: 444

Entrée:

            Chick-fil-a 8-count nuggets

                        Calories: 260

            2 packets of Chick-fil-a Ranch Dressing

                        Calories: 110 each

            Seared Ahi Tuna from Cypress in Charleston, SC

                        Calories: No idea

Side items

            Grandmother’s Mac and Cheese

                        Calories: 200

            Bacon

                        Calories: 40 per slice

            French Baguette from France

                        Calories: probably around 300

            Chick-fil-a fries

                        Calories: 390

Dessert:

            Cheesecake Factory Classic Cheesecake

                        Calories: 710

            Homemade Chocolate Cake

                        Calories: 300

            Sweet Cece’s Frozen Yogurt (Vanilla, chocolate swirl with heath bar, m&m’s, and gummy bears)

                        Calories: 200

            Georgetown Cupcakes Red Velvet Cupcake

                        Calories: 250

           

GRAND TOTAL: 3,534 (Plus the Ahi Tuna! Which had no nutrition on the website)

I do admit, I might have gotten carried away. But, there is a good chance I would throw up if I finished all of that, or die from the amount of food consumed, which would be a better way to die than strapped to the chair, in my opinion.

How I made my choices:

Chick-fil-a: Well, I am obsessed with this place. I should have an IV of this stuff running through me. I eat Chick-fil-a more than a human should, and have no shame.

The Varsity Chocolate Milkshake: if you’ve never been to the Varisty and had their milkshake…you have not lived.

Cypress Ahi Tuna: I went to Charleston, SC over Christmas break and was recommended this restaurant by almost everyone I talked to. The chef said this was the dish he would serve the president if he were to go to the restaurant, so naturally, I had to try it. All I can say is AMAZING. Best meal I have had in my life. Hands down. (the picture does not do it justice)

Mac and Cheese: I love macaroni and cheese and my grandmother’s recipe is perfect. Just perfect.

Bacon: Well…I love bacon and couldn’t imagine not having a piece for my last meal.

French Baguette: If you have ever been to France, you know that the “French baguette” in America has NOTHING on the actual French baguette fresh from a French bakery in the countryside of France. I ate entire baguettes in single sittings when I was there, that’s how amazing they are.

The reason the bulk of my last meal is dessert is because I love sugar and I love dessert. Cheesecake is one of my favorite things, as well as chocolate. Sweet Cece’s is a frozen yogurt shop from Franklin, Tennessee that has the best frozen yogurt in the world. Enough said.

Also, I went to Georgetown Cupcakes for the first time last summer, and their Red Velvet cupcake is to die for (pun intended). DELICIOUS. My life would be complete if someone sent me a dozen of these cupcakes just because they wanted to (they deliver all over the country...hint, hint)

Basically, I chose these foods because they are my favorite foods poured into one meal. This was extremely difficult to choose, and I keep changing my mind about what I would want, so I am making myself stick to this. 

Well…now I’m starving thanks to all this food talk. So, to Chick-fil-a I go…

All About Me

As you can see by my blog name, I may be just a little obsessed with my hometown. I have lived in Nashville, Tennessee for the last 18 years. I was born in Wilmington, Delaware but moved to Tennessee when I was a few years old due to my dad's job.

Childhood was great. My brother and I were the best of friends…we even had the exact same haircut. See below. I must say, there still may be a small amount of resentment toward my parents for this look. (and yes, under my blanket is the same haircut as my brother...thankfully, I must have learned to cover it up when a camera was around).

I have a great family, who loves to travel. My dad is from The Netherlands, so we frequent Holland to visit my family there and make a huge trip of it. We have been to over 10 countries and have plans to go to many more. I used to hate going to countries and National Parks every spring and summer break, but now I am so grateful that my parents took me there instead of the boring ole beach like everyone else! (Below is my father, brother and me on one of my first trips to The Netherlands)

I also have a child, well...sort of. Casper is my little nugget who also happens to be a 16-year-old West Highland White terrier and the light of my life. I may be exaggerating..but only just a little. (Come on, isn't he adorable!!!)

But, in all seriousness, I love everything about Tennessee except for one thing: orange. That disgusting University of Tennessee orange. I have to say that I am relieved that both of my parents went to small colleges so I wasn’t pulled into going to gawd-awful UT (although…it may have been a lot cheaper for them).
Instead, I decided to attend the best school in the nation: University of Alabama.

 Alabama has one of the best Public Relations programs in the country. Yeah, the football is pretty great (insert Roll Tide and recent National Championship comment here), but I chose the school for the amazing Public Relations program. I have decided to graduate a semester early and can’t wait to get out in the real world.  While it is scary to know that in a little less than a year I will (hopefully) have a big-girl job and be moving into my own apartment in Nashville, I feel more than prepared.
Being from the best city in the country, I obviously would love to live/work in my hometown. My parents just moved to South Carolina, so I want to hang onto Nashville even tighter now.
So this is me in a nutshell: A southern gal from the best city in the country, going to the best school in the country, and working my way to my dream career. Roll Tide.