The Dysfunctional Umbrella

Since it rains pretty much every other day here in Tuscaloosa, it is very important to invest in an umbrella. Yet sometimes, even umbrellas don't do their job! So yesterday, when yet another monsoon made its way through Tuscaloosa, I walked to class with my umbrella, only to get to class with half of my body soaked because it wasn't big enough to cover me! I decided that I wanted to redesign the umbrella, because I am tired of half of my body being dry, and the other half soaked because my shoulders are too dang wide apparently. Water dripping from an umbrella down your arm is just not fun.

So, here is a picture of the lovely normal umbrella that we all have come to know very well.

Now, here is my new and improved version of an umbrella. (I do apologize, drawing an umbrella seems to be a much harder task than I originally thought.)

As you can see, the umbrella "stem" as I call it, is on one side, and most of the top cover is on the other, therefore your entire body is actually covered by the umbrella. What a concept that my whole body can actually stay dry!!! Basically, this is just a lopsided umbrella. This, obviously, is an umbrella designed for only one person, but honestly, I hate being under an umbrella with other people anyways!! All manufacturers would have to do is move the stem over and lop-side a regular umbrella a little bit and voila! there is a perfect umbrella designed to keep you (and your arm) dry!

Can't wait for people to start making these! I still don't understand how I am the first to think of this easy concept...